Grunty’s father, aka Grampy Lynch, passed away last Friday. His obituary is here.
The obit neglects to mention that at 90 and a half, he was still incredibly sharp and sassy. Shoveling heavy snow a few days before he died. Bombing around New England in a 1960s vintage souped-up Bronco,planning his garden, littering his kitchen with to-do lists, and making the trek on foot to the local library to bring back books for my 89 year-old grandmother.
The service was brief, but very difficult for my mom. Since this is February vacation, I had no choice but to bring Max and hope for the best. Somehow Max managed to sit quietly in my lap, next to my sister Stephanie and her almost five-year old son, the two boys grinning at one another,dabbing their eyes with Kleenex, and echoing the refrain “Lord, have mercy.”
I was happy Max was in my lap when the priest, explaining how prayers carry the soul to heaven tacked on “Now those non-believers just think you die and that’s it. All they care about is the inheritance.”
I almost fell out of my chair. This non-believer was worried about her frail and elderly grandmother who lost her husband of sixty nine years. Worried about her own mother, who had not attended a funeral since her husband left her a widow with three small girls at 35. Worried about her aunt, the one who coordinates everything, and is always in control, yet was fighting so hard to remain composed.
Instead of feeling anger towards the priest for his insensitive remarks, I buried my face in Max’s curls and then focused on the photo of my grandfather as a young marine, centered behind his casket. He was such a handsome man, and looking at the faces around the room, I saw many of his features present on the grieving faces.
Here he was with my mom last October, shortly after turning 90.
I hope that his heaven does not issue speeding tickets, his freckled skin will never burn, the beer is always cold and the Red Sox win the World Series every year.
This image is blurry, but does a better job of capturing how spry he really was.
17 responses so far ↓
Emma // February 21, 2008 at 9:40 am
Karrie -
My condolences on the passing of your grandfather. And for the priest’s ignorant remarks.
What a great testament that a 90-year-old can do all that…when there are so many 30, 40, and 50 year olds who don’t do half as much. Sounds like he was a pretty neat guy.
Kelly O // February 21, 2008 at 10:43 am
Oh Karrie, I’m so sorry. How wonderful that Max got to spend time his great grandfather. I know that must mean a lot to them both.
karriew // February 21, 2008 at 10:54 am
He was a pistol. I remember seeing him out running when I was in my mid-twenties, so about 10 years ago. And I do mean running. In the middle of August.
I think having the two little ones at the funeral helped my grandmother a little. I was really worried about bringing Max, but thankfully he grasped that he needed to behave during the service. Afterwards though he and my nephew were goofing around a little and that made my grandmother laugh. I can’t imagine the depth of her loss. She asked my mom how long the feeling of expecting to see the deceased walk through the door lasts, and my mom just answered “a long time.”
I hope my grandmother hangs on for awhile. She has lots of people who love her.
Judy // February 21, 2008 at 11:24 am
Oh, Karrie, I’m sobbing. That was beautiful. How lucky you were to have your grandparents for so long, and lucky for Max to have known great-grandparents. I admit I’m jealous having lost all but one of my grandparents when I was just 3, and with my sons not having a grandfather at all.
I’m sorry about the priest. I can only believe that they are truly trying to do what they believe is right, mostly.
Cori // February 21, 2008 at 12:31 pm
I’m so sorry, Karrie. It sounds like he was a wonderful man. I wish you and your family strength and peace. I’ll be thinking of you. Please let me know if I can do anything, even if it’s just a cup of coffee at Peets!!
Mrs. Chicken // February 21, 2008 at 12:45 pm
I’m so sorry. I think it doesn’t matter how old your parent is … the loss is devastating. Prayers for you and your mom, especially.
allyo // February 21, 2008 at 1:49 pm
Karrie, I am so, so sorry. And the priest! Wow, what a thing to say.
I’m thinking of you and your family.
Oh, The Joys // February 21, 2008 at 3:45 pm
I’m so sorry for your loss, Karrie.
xo,
OTJ
Gwen // February 21, 2008 at 3:52 pm
Shame on the priest!
Grampy does look pretty spry in that picture.
I’m sorry he’s not going to see 91.
thordora // February 21, 2008 at 3:54 pm
Why is it that priests, who are supposed to provide comfort are the ones who make us feel worse?
90 years on this earth is a wonderfully long time. Must have been something to talk with him. I always thought he looked cute from when you’ve posted that picture in the past.
My condolences to you, and especially your grandma.
Kelly // February 21, 2008 at 9:04 pm
Very sorry, condolences to you and your mom. What a stinky priest. At my father’s funeral, the priest gave a real fire and brimstone sermon. Very comforting. not.
Suzanne // February 21, 2008 at 11:22 pm
Sorry for your loss. Your grandpa sounds like he was a cool guy. And I am glad that you were able to focus on him and not the insensitive priest.
Jennifer // February 22, 2008 at 11:19 pm
I’m sorry. My grandpa died in 05. I still miss him every day.
Elizabeth // February 23, 2008 at 1:02 pm
I’m so sorry for your loss. And I’m sorry you’re the victim of someone trying to make themselves better by making you worse. To have our own beliefs is great, but when it tramples on what someone else believes or doesn’t believe, especially in a time of grief! then it is just wrong.
But what great memories you have. Hang onto those.
Heather // February 23, 2008 at 8:16 pm
I’m so sorry about your granddad. Those pictures of him are fantastic, and I’m glad that Max got to know him at least a little bit. How is Grunty holding up?
Can we get the address of the church so we can all send scathing letters to the priest? I hate funerals for that very reason. My grandma’s this past fall was the first one I’ve been to ever where there wasn’t a “If you loved your dead relative, you would come to Jesus” remark.
Paige // February 24, 2008 at 5:18 pm
I’m sorry for your loss, but was touched by your memories of him in this post.
I understand how these things go.
My thoughts are with you and your family.
Bests,
Paige
Dawn // February 26, 2008 at 11:28 am
I’m so sorry for your loss. It sounds like he was a wonderful man. I’m glad you were able to focus on what was important instead of the preist’s cruddy remarks.
Sending you my thoughts and support,
D
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