An epic tantrum just wound down. When I picked Max up at school this afternoon, he collapsed into a heap in the hallway, blocking a bunch of Bugaboos and of course, earning me the Stare of Death. He was still tantrumming ten minutes later when I peeled him off the floor and somehow managed to get him strapped into his car seat. Still wailing as I pulled out into traffic. (Still screeching nearly 45 minutes later after arriving at our house.)
After throwing a shoe at my head and barking, he started to demand
I…wu…wuu…waaa…want to heaaaahhh…..Coming ‘Round the Mount…the mount…THE MOUNT!…aiiiiin…annnnnnnnnnn
Eyes on the road, I turned the classical music station, breathed deeply and tried to locate my Inner Goddess of Mothering. When the bitch failed to appear, I scanned over to the classic rock station, and the Pilot began to dance to dueling divas.
Max: Puuu…puuu…puhlease! IHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOU! I want a treat! I waa…waaaaannnnnt a TREAT! My kneee hurts! Muh kneee hurts!
Mom Voyage and Robert Plant: I’ve tried to do all those thiiiiings the best I caaaaan
Max: I want a letter cookie! I want, I want, *hiccup* I hate you, I want…..
Mom Voyage and Robert Plant: GOOOOOD TIMES…..BAAAD TIMES….YOU KNOW I’VE HAD MY SHARE!
Max: I want, I want, I WANT, I WAAAAAAAAANT MY GOD DAMN MUSIC NOW. YOU ARE NOT LISTENING TO ME, MOMMY. MOMMY! Moooooommy! MOMMY! I HAte you, Mommy!
Robert Plant & Mom Voyage, pulling in front of the house, perfect timing I don’t care what the neighbors saaaaaaayyyyyyy
Max: Is daddy home? Is he is he is he is HE??? Daaaaadddyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
Mom Voyage: Ah, sweet! Back-to-back Zeppelin Baby, baby, baby, I’m gonna leave you……
Am I the only one parenting through a communication breakdown?