I just realized I was supposed to allow the damn Tofurky to thaw for 24 hours before cooking.
The entire box is plastered with warnings to KEEP FROZEN, so I wrongly assumed that meant until you pop it in the oven.
The first time I cooked a turkey for Thanksgiving, back in oh, 1989 or 1990, I made the same mistake.
Little giblets of history repeating itself here. At least we have plenty of pie.
ETA: It turned out pretty well in the end. Picture of my dinner here, if you’re curious.