Paging Doctor Google

It is difficult to see the sting in this photo, but earlier this afternoon after building sand castle # 312, complete with bridge and access road, Max and I ran into the waves. Only one of us ran out;screaming and carrying the smaller one.

What the hell were hornets doing in the surf, tattooing a white, hot itchy band around my ankle?

Trying not panic, since I am allergic to bees, I showed Grunty and leapt into the hotel pool, assumed a discreet yoga pose and peed all over my leg, nodding as an elderly couple I chatted with last night slowly made their way to a pair of pool chairs to sit and admire my toilet.

According to Dr. Google,I will survive. There are several hospitals nearby, but unless I suddenly cannot breathe or my left leg develops pre-eclampsia, I am just going to suck it up. And drink gallons of unsweetened iced tea from Publix.

There is one other thing to be grateful for: At least I did not sit down in the surf and pull Max into my lap as I had considered moments before the nasty invertebrate reached out and swatted me.

ETA: Now Dr. Google has informed me that Portuguese Man o’ War jelly fish are common in the area of Florida in January. Fuck. Guess I may head to an ER after all, as my sting site most closely resembles those of Man O’ War, and apparently you can seem fine, only to wake up the ext day covered in some kind of mysterious stains.


18 responses to “Paging Doctor Google

  1. blarg!

    I remember being 12, my first visit to the Atlantic. I’m excited, and running towards the surf when my father yells “Watch out for Jellyfish!”

    I skidded to a stop, and didn’t go anywhere near the water.

    Looking at that, I think I’m glad I didn’t. I hope you’re ok!!!

  2. EEKKK! I hear they hurt like hell!

  3. Just so you never have to pee on yourself again, hie thee to a nearby grocery store and buy some Adolph’s Meat Tenderizer (the non-seasoned kind is best, since it isn’t colored). That stuff zaps the pain from jellyfish stings almost immediately.

    I always keep a shaker full of it in my beach bag when we go to the Gulf, and we’ve used it a lot, both for our own family and for total strangers on the beach–there are a lot of jellyfish in the Gulf, let me tell you! Works every time.

  4. OMG! What a TRIP you’ve been having! lol We were just watching WildBoys today, and well…..let’s just say, they got nothing on you! haha

    Hope you’re better, quick. Vicki

  5. Well, that was 20 hours ago. How goes it? Are you feeling better (I hope)?

  6. here’s hoping your doing ok. Since I see posting on BC I know your still alive and kicking .

  7. I want to hear more about the mysterious stains!

  8. Wow, check out those skinny ankles!

  9. Hello? Are you ok? Now, I’m getting nervous.

  10. yikes! hope you are better now, what a way to wind up your trip!

  11. Man I feel for you. I was visiting my uncle on the gulf a few years ago and got stung pretty bad. I felt something soft brush up against me (like seaweed) and then the pain. It felt like I would imagine if someone put a cigarette out on my back! I’m SO glad Max was left untouched but hope you are okay and did not have a reaction.

  12. Sorry all. I am ok. Just busy driving home. 🙂

  13. Glad that you are OK. Having recently run into an angry sea creature (in my case, a sea urchin), man do I feel your pain.

  14. Hah! All I could think of was you and Bee rushing me out of the ocean in the Long Island Sound in CT after bringing me out way beyond my depth because you spotted a jelly fish. Fortunately, no one was hurt in that incident and moments later, Ivy ran down the beach, stripping off her clothes as she went. Anyway, I’m glas all is well and that the sting did no more serious harm than what you described.

    I’ve missed you so much over the years and can’t wait to hear from you.


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